Dental Bliss

My boys have cavities.

We went for a routine cleaning at our regular dentist two weeks ago. It was Bo's first time, but Dub had been several times before. All of a sudden, they have cavities. PLURAL.

They referred us to a pediatric dentist, who proceeded to tell me that they have cavities. (In case I forgot.) In fact, Dub has I think three of 'em, and Bo has two. What in the world???

Do you reckon it's because we make them eat Sugar Babies for breakfast, Tootsie Rolls for lunch, and make them chew their Jolly Ranchers that we make them eat at supper? Or probably it's the candy apples they have to eat at snack before they get to have any pancakes with syrup for a treat.

And since we're so poor and uneducated, we buy toothpaste and toothbrushes only at Christmastime. They have to ration the toothpaste, so they save it for special occasions.

Oh yeah right.

But here's me, feeling like a terrible mom, taking both of my children with teeth in to have them filled. And trust me, I tried to scare the snot out of Dub and Bo, hoping they would stop whining at tooth brushing time and step up and take some responsibility, which they have by the way. I told them about the shot they'd have to give them in the mouth to numb them so that they wouldn't feel the drill, which is just like Daddy's drill, when it makes a hole in the tooth. And how if they didn't take care of their teeth now, the dentist will have to yank the bad teeth out and leave a big hole.

Dub and Bo did not dread this visit to the dentist one bit, despite all my scare tactics. Come to find out, at this pediatric dentist they don't use shots and drills, they use "Circus Gas" and "Mister Bumpity." And while they are "feeling all tickly inside from the circus gas," they get to watch whatever they want to on the TV on the ceiling. 30 minutes after going in, they come out extremely happy and excited to come back. Oh, and clutching a gift certificate for a free ICE CREAM CONE. That's going to ruin their candy apple appetite!

I guess I'm glad that it was so easy on them. But honestly, I wish it wasn't so much FUN! We, the "responsible party," had to pay $250 for this cake walk. And what did Dub and Bo learn? "If we don't brush our teeth and get some more cavities, then we'll get to go back to that fun place and get some more ice cream!!!"

By the way, in my defense, my kids apparently have "Groovy Teeth" - they have extra deep ridges in them that traps everything worse than most people's teeth. So we know now to brush extra special on those back teeth...at least on those special occasions.