My kids still think of me as a playmate, but I'm beginning to realize I'm not the "hero" I may have used to be. We were playing outside one day, and Bo wanted to move a huge rock over to their clubhouse. He asked me to help him move it, but I told him it was way too big and we wouldn't be able to move it ourselves.
Bo said, "That's ok. We'll just wait 'til Dub gets home, and he can move it for us."
Bo, who is 4 years old, sometimes has trouble buckling his seatbelt. He's in a booster seat, so it's a normal seatbelt, but he tends to yank it, which locks it up, making it impossible to pull.
And he whines about it: "I can't get it to work!! Ugh!! Ugh!!" (half-hearted attempts)
Jason and I get so frustrated about it because normally he doesn't inform us that he's having trouble until after we've started driving off.
Last night after church my "motivation" for him to get it done included this: "Alright, Bo! Which one of us do you want to go to jail?? Me or Daddy? Because if you don't buckle RIGHT NOW, a police man will pull us over and take one of us to jail! So which one, me or Daddy???"
He chose Daddy.
Yay! :) Obviously I really wasn't expecting him to actually choose. Of course, he chose correctly!
I guess he knows I don't need to get into any more trouble, right??
I will tell you up front that we're all home now and everything is ok...mostly. So keep that in mind.
Our precious neighbors needed our help yesterday morning ~ Mrs. D is in Atlanta for the weekend, and Mr. D had to be at work by 6am, so we helped by letting their girls come to our house at 5:00, then we took everybody to school. The time of day messed with my mind, since we usually don't have almost two hours to fill when getting ready for school. Well, before I knew it, it was "already" (haha) 6:45, and we wanted to leave for school BY 6:50. Hey, did you know that we have a baby (toddler, really)??? I COMPLETELY forgot about the sweet sleeping angel upstairs in her bed until 6:45. I was hustling everyone around getting backpacks, shoes, and jackets on, then I had to RUN upstairs and grab Little Lady out of her slumber. At least I changed her diaper, thank goodness for that.
Of course she didn't have time for breakfast, but I did grab a banana for her on the way out the door; we'd be home in 20 minutes or so anyway, and that would help keep her from screaming.
We got to school just fine, and then Bo, LL, and I went to take our books by the library. No big deal, right? Just chuck them in the book return and we're done. It should have been that easy, anyway. At the school, there had been a light on our dashboard indicating trouble with one of the tires. By the time we got to the library, the light was also blinking and beeping. So I got out to look, and sure enough the tire was F-L-A-T. I am completely helpless when changing a tire. Or at least, I've never done it, although I understand the concept (but who can think clearly when they have two little kids in the backseat asking what's going on and/or starting to fuss because she hasn't had a real breakfast yet???). So I did the next best thing ~ I called Jason at work. He was kind of irritated because I had called right in the middle of his teaching, but he told me to call AllState since we have some kind of roadside assistance deal.
The guy came with his big tow truck to help, thank goodness. But not thank goodness, we had to remove both of the car seats from the back seat (the third row) so that he could get to the spare tire. It was turning into quite a hassle. The man told me that there was some part on the wheel (I have no idea what...the kanooder valve???) that looked like it was corroding, so I bent down to look. Bo ran into my backside at that exact moment and I lost my balance...and use your imagination HOW, but SOMEHOW my hair got caught in SOMETHING down in the wheel area. And it would NOT come loose. The man tried to help, but I was holding on to LL, making her fuss, and since the situation was not getting better, I told him to just cut it free. That left a HUGE 4-inch CHUNK of my hair (4 inches from the BOTTOM) cut out. I was near tears, but fortunately I did not give in and cry.
I HAD to get my hair cut to make it even since we were supposed to be running errands all morning. I didn't know what would be open at 7:30 in the morning, but I drove by SuperCuts, and fortunately they were open and not busy at all. Bo and LL were mostly ok while we were there, but LL was getting more and more disgruntled about not having any breakfast. In hindsight, I should have stopped somewhere to get her something, but I kept thinking we'd be going right home. :(
Now I have a 4-inch shorter haircut, which isn't so bad. But on the way home from SuperCuts, I was feeling some better about the insane morning. I decided to text Jason an update (some of it, anyway). Did you know that texting while driving is ILLEGAL in Tennessee??? Oh, and I wasn't exactly going the suggested speed, per say. And then there was the traffic light that I could have sworn was yellow when I went under it. AND the police car that was in the Publix parking lot as I whizzed by, that I did not notice until it was way too late. He pulled me over. Of course.
I actually did cry then, not to get out of trouble, but because I felt like I was due a few tears. I tried to explain what we'd been through, but he was not relenting. Part of the problem (probably) was that LL's car seat had been kind of rigged back in, since I also don't know how to install them correctly (I was planning to have Jason call on his planning period and walk me through it). He asked me to step out of the car, but I wouldn't. I had two babies in the car...I wasn't going to get out and leave them in there alone! Well, the cop (SO SORRY if that's disrespectful, but I'm kind of mad at them right now) called for backup, and they ended up taking me into custody and took me downtown to the police station (we happened to be in Davidson County at this time, as luck would have it) in the back of the patrol car.
The other cop had stayed with Bo and LL until Jason could get there (if he thought he was irritated before...). Then they were allowed to come and get me after the "mandatory" two hours holding time.
The bad news is...I am not allowed to drive for two weeks.
The good news is...none of it is going on my record.
Especially since this was all made up.
April Fool's, y'all!